peace, love and homeschooling

Like putting sore, tired feet in front of the fire, homeschooling has brought peace and rejuvenation to our hearts and to our household.

And sleep! Ahhhh, did I mention sleep? We were running on caffeine and fumes for far too long, and this past winter I finally saw the light.

We had a cold evening last school year that brought me to such a low, I felt as if I wouldn't live to see another day. Or was it simply wishing I wouldn't live to see another day?  I envisioned my tombstone reading Here lies the bones of a mom who beat her head against the wall attempting to decipher fifth grade math homework.

I was afraid my relationship with my precious girl was starting to come down to three things: fighting as she was leaving for school because we were running late once again; lots of tears (mostly mine) over homework in the after-school hours; and fighting as I pressed us through our bedtime routine in a desperate attempt to get a better night's sleep than the night before ... only to start it all over again in the morning.

I knew we were in a negative pattern and wanted more than anything to train up my child in the way she should go. But with sleep deprivation on top of a seven or more hour a day, five day a week separation from one another, it was definitely not happening.

Around this same time, Collin was having chronic pain in his knees and we went to doctor after doctor to figure out the problem. He finally had "minor" double knee surgery at the end of  January 2015 and what was projected to be a two or three week recovery period turned out to be a full year of pain, suffering, disappointment, and tears (from all of us).

It was the second half of his senior year and should've been his triumphant last season of high school baseball. God had other plans.

The best part to come out of his surgery, for me, was the one and one time we were blessed to spend together as he recovered at home. We had deep talks and deep laughs with much love and sharing of ideas and dreams.

With one beloved son soon graduating college and this dear one soon going, I felt in my soul that this was exactly what it was all about—time together.

We watched movies, read books, and shared many TED talks and thought-provoking podcasts.  He was working on his final year-end project for English. His topic was about compulsory schooling and our educational system that has not changed, in essence, since 1918 (when compulsory schooling became law in our country) and why it's doing most kids a disservice.

We read and listened to many speakers who had wide and different theories about placing kids in a physical classroom each day—school as we've always known it—and why this is not what educates children but life and, more specifically, doing life with the people that know them the best and love them the most. Some speakers expressed that it's children's God-given bents and innate curiosity that drives their learning.

Collin questioned, and still does, the value of unending worksheets, test upon standardized test, and being confined to one building for hours each day with hundreds of same-aged peers.

I started questioning the adequacy of our system and opening up my mind to new possibilities. Did the ways in which our kids were being taught—the ways we've always known and accepted to be right—really allow for their creativity and freedom to learn at the pace my daughter craved?

The discussion and thought process though was not, and never will be, about criticizing teachers.

All the hard-working, dedicated educators I've ever known are heroes in my eyes. They do the best they can with what they have and inspire and change the lives of so many kids for the better.

This time of change, uncertainty and transition in our lives, though, made me see everything with fresh eyes.  What I began to perceive was that my kid didn't need more time in the classroom, more time doing worksheets, or more time doing homework.

What she needed was more time with me.

My sister, who in the past had homeschooled (when I was a doubter and a skeptic), was also homeschooling her daughter last year. When I heard about the rhythm of their days and the unlimited choice of curriculums, it sounded appealing and right to me.

I brought up the idea to Marina and was surprised by how passionately she felt about wanting to learn at home. I had to backpedal and tell her I was just talking and not sure because I wasn't. I couldn't envision what it would look like and was nervous about the idea of having her home everyday.

We, as a family, prayed long and hard and pressed forward.

The idea of homeschooling kept coming up and went from something I never, ever thought I'd do to something I had to try.

And I can say with all honesty that six months into our new journey, it's one of the best things we've ever done.  Rina and I are in tune to one another in a way we had grown away from, and learning and reading together is, most days, pure joy. Having the freedom away from the public school calendar has allowed us to travel more often and for longer periods of time and to serve together, learning as we go.

More than a few people have asked me in one form or another, "Don't you think she should be in school?" or "Are you afraid she's going to get behind?" and my answer in one form or another is, "No, absolutely not."

We're meeting our goals, day by day, by sharing love, meals, books, laughter, and life.

Moms and dads instinctively know what is best for their kids, whether they have the means to act on it or not; whether they have the faith in themselves to act on it or not; whether they can stand up to the opposition of popular culture or not.

Parents know their kids better than anyone else, and that's why teaching them at home is such a beautiful thing.

Our daughter has just completed her sixtieth novel since we started schooling in September. Along with reading, writing and arithmetic, she's also had the opportunity to learn french, computer animated design, and coding. She's taking piano, drama, horseback riding, and voice lessons. Math is still our least favorite, but luckily Dad saves the day because Craig loves word problems. Huh?!

We've gained wonderful friends in our new homeschool community who are loving, open-minded, and unique. The commonality for all of us is a desire to live a slower paced, God, and family-centered life.

I'm grateful to have more time with Marina than I had before, and I know when she's all grown up in several short years, we'll cherish these minutes and hours we've spent together. I couldn't be happier the word hurry is (almost!) out of our vocabulary.

Praise God that I'm currently in this position to teach at home and even if it's only for a season, well, of course it's only a season, I'll look back on these days with fondness.

Ahhh, this amazing thing called homeschooling.

I'll keep stacking the kindling, adding the logs, poking the fire, and feeling the wonderful warmth.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Proverbs 22:6  "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."


Debbie Prather

Debbie Prather is a people-loving introvert with a weakness for powerful, redemptive tales. She pens personal essays with universal themes and is open with her experiences to make others comfortable to be open with theirs. Debbie’s faith, family, and friends inspire her words and creative works. Her passion for reading and community have led to the start of two active, long-standing book clubs. She can often be found at bible study or book club meetings or nestled in a library, bookstore, or on the floor with one of her beloved grand babies.

http://www.debbieprather.com
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