welcome to the blog
love through generations
You don't know what you don't know.
And I didn't know what I put her through.
My mom waited eleven hours to hear from me. Eleven hours that should've been six, while she was home in Illinois, and I was a high schooler on a January drive with friends, from there to Iowa, to visit my boyfriend's college.
last drops
My husband was out of the country on a work trip.
While caring for our two boys, I often counted the seconds until his return.
The first days of his absence had been rough, but this one started and ended, almost, uneventfully.
may his face shine upon you
Numbers 6 : 24 - 26 ESV The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
Dear moms and dads,
This blessing was first spoken from God to Moses. The Lord told Moses to tell his brother, the priest Aaron, and Aaron’s sons, to bless the people of Israel with the words above.
we've gotcha
The stout and stern, dark-haired judge scared the living heck out of us.
She fired one question after another, and the sweat beaded on Craig's head. The kind translator had warned us ahead of time not to look at herself but only at the judge when it was time for the translator to repeat the judge's questions, changing them from Russian to English.
"Why do you want to adopt this little girl?"
ineffable
When I heard his feet hit the floor and his bedroom door open, I knew I didn’t have time to move or hide. I was caught.
"Hey!" he said. "What are you doing?"
"I'm just looking for something I dropped earlier," I whispered (and lied).
an unbreakable bond
I rolled over restlessly at the first morning light and spotted the thick, folded pile of papers that had been pushed under my door.
My heart dropped to my feet and I jumped up to grab them. For an eighth of a second I thought, Did he run away? Did he hurt himself? but I knew better.
point to the son
Today is my middle child's twenty-first birthday. Only yesterday, I was dragging myself around the supermarket in tears because it was his first week of kindergarten and I felt like both of my arms were missing. Two kids now in school, and I walked in circles for weeks until I figured out my new normal. Today, this birthday boy is six weeks out from marrying a radiant and vibrant young lady from Canada.
the last turn home
As we rounded the corner onto our street, the anticipation I'd felt for the last ten days couldn't be contained one second longer. In our driveway, I left everything in the car and ran through the snow to the front door, flinging it open.
out of the mouths of my babies
After I'd kissed and tucked him in, he sat up and said very sweetly, "Mom, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you smell bad at night. I don't know why ... I don't want to hurt your feelings though."
I gargled with mouthwash and put some perfume on. I went back into his room as he was falling asleep. I asked three year old Collin if I was smelling better now. He smiled drowsily and said, "You do! What did you do? Put some make-up on?"
live as though everything is a miracle
She was speaking to a ballroom overflowing with women but, at that moment, it was as if I was the only one there. I saw her final question "What is God leading you to do?" float slowly above me until suddenly, wham, I felt like I was hit over the head. "Adoption."
these kind of days
I awoke to the alarm this morning at five thirty, heart pounding, with a list of things I must accomplish today running through my head.
First off, dentist appointment. Next, dress, gift, and grocery shopping before returning home to clean the bathroom. Then, send a card, finish emails, and make a meal to bring to a new mom.
My self-imposed agenda was growing by the second.